How To Pee Outside: 6 Slope-Side-Approved Pee Positions
When nature calls (especially while in nature), you need options, and Gnara Apparel has got you covered! Despite writing it almost THREE years ago, Our Top Outdoor Pee Positions for Going There continues to be a favorite blog post of yours. So this week, we're giving You The People more of what you want, only this time, we're getting even more advanced with these [at-least-one-time] tried and true snow stances in our all new, limited edition drop of Burton GoFly® bibs and compatible base layers. While our revolutionary GoFly® zipper technology is serious business, we thought we'd have a bit of fun with the, ahem, positions you might find yourself in while doing your business outdoors -- especially on the slopes.
A word of caution: These maneuvers were tested and performed by professional pee-ers who do this for a living, as demonstrated in this video. If you're going to try them at home or in public, please follow Leave No Trace Principles!
And remember, these moves are only possible in the ONLY ski bibs and base layers on the market with our GoFly® functionality, made in partnership with our friends at Burton!
The PEElvic Thrust
Picture this: you're on a steep slope, the wind is howling, and that morning coffee finally catches up with you. The PEElvic Thrust is your answer. Find a tree or wall, assume a bridge position by tightening those glute muscles, unzip, and let 'er flow. With Gnara's GoFly® zipper, you'll be back on the slopes in seconds, no awkward fumbling required. The bonus? A quick work out to ensure those buns of steel.
The Downhill Dribbler
This classic mountain maneuver involves finding a suitable, less steep slope and letting gravity assist your efforts. Why fight physics or your sore legs? The Downhill Dribbler is all about efficiency, rest, and minimal splash-back. Find a nice spot to lie down in the snow, unzip, and let the good times roll (well, dribble).
The Treetop Tinkler
For the adventurous souls who like a view with their relief! Find a sturdy branch or wedge yourself between two walls, shimmy up as much as desired, secure your footing, and enjoy the scenery. Just remember that it's a long way down, so our one-handed GoFly® zipper operation becomes particularly valuable when you need your other hand for hanging on!
The Treemendous Relief
Sometimes you just need a hug. Sometimes, you also simply cannot when it comes to taking your skis off. The Treemendous Relief involves finding the largest tree trunk available, wrapping your arms around it, and answering nature's call. Our GoFly® zipper's smooth, silent operation ensures you won't draw attention to your stealthy woodland pit stop.
The PEEza
When time is of the essence, the PEEza delivers! This pro ski move will allow for an easy slope-side (or honestly, middle of the slope, if you must) pee. It's even possible to keep moving while doing with this one, but level up at your own risk. Gnara's GoFly® zipper makes this quick-draw position possible without exposing yourself to the elements any longer than necessary, and without even needing to remove a single ski. Snowboarders, we recognize this isn't accessible to y'all -- let us know your equivalent!
The Lunge and Leak
Feeling athletic? The Lunge and Leak combines stretching with relief - perfect for those who are looking for a more active recovery. Deep lunge, steady balance, and with our revolutionary GoFly® zipper, you'll be back to your exercise in record time.
While our positions might be tongue-in-cheek, our commitment to making outdoor adventures more comfortable is dead serious. Gnara's GoFly® zipper technology offers the safest, fastest, comfiest and most convenient access when you need it most, whether you're skiing down double black diamonds or skinning up the resort.
So next time you're enjoying the great outdoors and you feel the urge to "go" on the go, remember: the position might be your choice, but the zipper should always be GoFly®.
